How to Offend A Girl With Only 10 Words
by Astried
Summary: Kenny just can't find the right thing to say to Wendy.


**Kendy is a more recent pairing I've discovered, and that developed in to a oneshot. I have to say I have a special love of non-slash.. **

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A hot body. A dazzling smile. Unfaltering wit and charms and a deliciously sexy blond bedhead to literally top everything off. Kenny McCormick was a God, and not just any God, a sex God. How a couple like Stuart and Carol McCormick managed to produce such a child was a mystery. Every day Kenny navigated his way through the halls of South Park High with a confidant strut in his step. He only had to glance at a girl to get her blushing.

Heidi Turner, Head Cheerleader: been there. Bebe Stevens, Queen Bee: done that. Literally. For years Lola Britt had been a total prude, but after only two dates with Kenny...Well. What could he say? It was a gift. There wasn't a girl he couldn't make weak at the knees...

Except one.

Wendy Testaburger was immune to all of Kenny's charms. In fact, it worked in reverse. Kenny was weak at the knees for Wendy. Wendy, Class President, Captain of the Debate team, member of the _Eco Club _for crying out loud. She was a breath of fresh air from other girls, with dark features and a petite figure; a rare species in South Park.

Everything about her screamed out to Kenny. The way she laughed, a soft, delicate tinkling, the way her ivory face shone to perfection even in gym, when she had beads of perspiration on her forehead from a competitive game of netball. After countless clouds of blond hair it was relaxing to see a shimmering black waterfall. When Wendy looked at him, Kenny felt she could see right through him, deep down to all his faults and she made him feel cleansed, purified.

As jerk-ish as it sounded, Kenny couldn't help but think about how he'd still want to date her even after they'd fucked.

There was no doubt Stan Marsh's childhood sweetheart had grown up in to a delicate beauty. But there was just one thing about said sweetheart- she was still Stan's girl. Kenny always prided himself on not flirting with his best friend's girls, be they dating or simply a crush. Rebecca Cotswold was the damned sexiest nerd Kenny had ever seen, with bouncing chocolate curls and sparkling green eyes- and a perky pair of tits to boot. But had he, or had he not, set her up with Kyle? The pair were inseparable now and Kyle regularly reported back to the guys with stories of steamed up 'study sessions'.

And there had been Patty Nelson with the sweetest ass, who was a whizz at cooking in Home Ec. , and used her skills to win over Cartman. Although they were'nt ones for public displays of affection, it proved even Cartman could get a girl.

Oh-_and_ there was Craig and Lola, who may have taken a bit more work due to Craig's general attitude to life. Yet Kenny had seen how he looked at the girl, and after some very discreet meddling...Kenny glanced at the pair who were cuddled up by Lola's locker. Oh-shit wait, hadn't Kenny done her? Oops. Oh well.

But none of this pride could stop Kenny this was being driven mad by the girl and her sweet disposition. He had begun to loathe being near to Stan and Wendy, especially when they were playing the cute couple. On Friday he had watched her from across the gym, a confidant and determined look on her face as she observed the opposing team. It was that look that sent him over the edge.

Today was the day. The day he would tell her how insane he was for her. Kenny approached Wendy at her locker one afternoon. '_Start with a compliment.' _He told himself, how hard could that be considering it was Wendy? He took in her floaty top and jeans, a whole new look compared to other South Park girls, who went for the 'slut' look and lived in tight tops and short skirts.

"Hey Wendy." He greeted, and she responded with her glittering smile that made Kenny shiver. "Hi Kenny."

"Yeah hey, you don't look like a total slut today." _Shit._ How had he _not _processed that before he spoke? Kenny braced himself for a slap, but watched in slight confusion as Wendy only paused at her locker, looking as equally puzzled. She put her last book away and shut the door.

"Um, gee Ken, thanks." Wendy simply walked away. Kenny stayed rooted to his spot, contemplating what had just happened.

Maybe his apology would go better.


End file.
